Think you’re smarter than Judge Judy?

Nope

You’re not.

Nope

Nope

Jessica bedwetter (or whatever her name is) should’ve heeded my advice. You’re not smarter than Judge Judy. No one is. That’s rule #1.

Sooooo close, Jessica. You’ve won. Just tell Judy exactly how much you’re owed so she can enter a judgement in your favor.

YOU BLEW IT! Why oh why did you start quoting Maryland state law? This isn’t the supreme court, it’s T.V. Just tell her how much you’re actually out of pocket. Have you ever seen the show? She almost never awards punitive damages. And definitely not if you try to tell her how much you’re owed according to state law.

See? Even bird can’t help you (although he tried, what a sweetheart). Now, if you didn’t mention Maryland state law (like, 3 times), Judy probably would’ve given you the 36 dollar per check fees you were seeking. Lesson learned, bedwetter.

Best part of this episode is the end, when they interviewed her current boyfriend.

HAHA. Did you catch that? He just wants her to get her money so she’ll shut the $%& up.  Fat chance of that happening now, loverboy. If I were you, I’d just pay her the remainder of what she thinks she’s owed. Trust me.

P.S. Anyone else notice the defendant looks exactly like Rob Thomas (from matchbox 20)?

Twins

Twins

 

Shake it

Aw man, no you didn't

Usually Judge Judy participants fall into one of two categories:

1. Somewhat normal

or

2. Insane

This guy starts out as a category 1.  His former employee is suing him for wrongful termination. He seems to be doing quite well and making a good case for himself.

Calm. Well spoken. Intelligible.

But then Judy had to go and ask for an example of her behavior.

Aw man, no you didn't

Aw man, no you didn’t

HAHA. This guy is insane. But he’s the weird kind of insane where he doesn’t mean to be and you can’t help but sympathize with him.

Judy did too, as is evident by her not screaming. And he won the case.

And we’ll always have this -

Booooy

Booooy

 

 

 

Woody

Woody?

Short cases are sometimes way more entertaining.

“Don’t get comfy.”  We never are, Judy. Not when you’re in a bad mood.

So what’s this case about?

So basically, she wants the ex-roomate to pay for her new apartment because she moved out? Judy? What say you?

Care to elaborate?

Best part about this clip? (other than the audience response)… Continue reading

More Judge Judy Facts

Zip it...

 

Zip it...

Zip it…

You can read the first 10 here

1. She commutes to work – by private plane! That’s right, she has houses in 3 states but not one in California where she works.

2. She proposed to her husband. Figures.

3. She eats egg mcmuffins every day for breakfast. And defendants for dessert.

Not a defendant

Not a defendant

4. She’s a card shark. She’s apparently the master of Gin Rummy. And “I don’t let my grandchildren win.” Obviously.

5. She got divorced from her husband Jerry in 1970, and remarried a year later.

6. She doesn’t know how to  Continue reading

Who’s got the hooch?

the real deal

Meet Angela Kelley

Hooch?

Hooch?

 

Besides bearing an uncanny resemblance to marla hooch (if you don’t get this reference, you are banned from this site)

the real deal

the real deal

She is suing her (former) friend Christina for damaging her car.

Judy? What’s your take so far?

Now, I’ve been watching Judge Judy long enough to know that Christina’s in trouble. Besides her initial laugh and smirk at being asked, the last line of defense is always deflecting with questions of your own. The lowest you can sink is not only asking questions back to the Judge, but asking ridiculous, rhetorical ones, like “How do we even know it’s her car?”

Love how Judy doesn’t even bother arguing with her and simply walks out. To where you might ask? She’s still at least going to do her due diligence and call Christina’s alibi to see what she has to say. Continue reading

Hard to handle

Got it on sale

Judge Judy often has to deal with unruly participants. Let’s take the case below.

Now besides the obvious questions of what in the world this lady is wearing

Got it on sale

Got it on sale

and the other big mystery of whether or not the daughter is wearing a wig

Hmmm....can't tell

Hmmm….can’t tell

The most pressing question is: Continue reading

After the case…

Silent Stacy...not really

Yes, I know this one just feeds into the perception that the participants on Judge Judy are all trailer trash. While this clip does, in fact, involve a trailer (and folks fighting over its’ content) I promise they’re not all like that.

Now normally when a case is over, both parties proceed outside and have a chance to tell the camera exactly what they thought about the case and how fair/unfair the outcome was. Though it’s highly edited, at least they can get one or two sentences in.

Meet Stacy

Silent Stacy...not really

Silent Stacy…not really

She is just about to lose her case and ordered to surrender all of the contents of the trailer in question. Clearly she’s not happy. But is she going to be patient enough to wait until she gets out of the courtroom to air her frustration? Let us see… Continue reading

Top 8 “Bryd” Facts.

That's right

Petri “Bryd” Hawkins is the best bailiff in America and the 2nd best part of Judge Judy.

For those that are unfamiliar, here are some facts about him.

1. He gets paid to do this:

That's right

That’s right

2. He gets paid A LOT to do that. He hasn’t confirmed exactly how much he gets paid but it’s rumored to be over $1 million a year (for 52 work days). Fun Fact – the average starting salary of a bailiff is a little over $14/hour. Let that sink in for a minute.

3. He’s worth every penny. Come on, What would Judge Judy be without Byrd swearing people in and making a small comment every 5th episode? Plus, who else is going to bring the evidence up to the Judge? The defendants/plaintiffs themselves? Don’t be ridiculous.

I just made 50k

I just made 50k

4. He has been with Judge Judy since the beginning.  And you better believe he’ll be there until the end.

5. He worked as an actual bailiff. Yep, before Judge Judy he was a working bailiff….with Judge Judy. He supposedly sent her a letter when she left to start her own show stating “If you ever need a bailiff, I still look good in a uniform.” She brought him in the next day.

6. He does the crosswords on his clipboard. Ever wonder why in the world Byrd has a clipboard and pen? What is he so busy writing considering he almost never speaks and has nothing to do with the case itself? Crosswords, baby. Crosswords.

Just finished the Thursday puzzle

Just finished the Thursday puzzle

7. He does impressions. Besides Billy Crystal and Eddie Murphy, we’re told he does a mean Judy. Love to get my hands on one of those tapes.

8. He’s married. Sorry, ladies

So there you have it. The most important 8 facts about Byrd that you’ll read today. Or ever. You’re welcome.

 

 

Top 10 Judge Judy Quotes

Wrong

Here are the current top 10 Judge Judy quotes: (subject to change, when she comes out with better ones)

10.  “You know who I am, right? I’m Judge Judy.”  – This one is not as well known, but she does use it quite often. Mostly when trying to scare kids into telling the truth.

Exactly, kid.

9. “I’d like 10 million people to know how stupid you are. That’s my joy in life.”  This one varies from time to time but she loves to remind people how 10 million viewers are going to know how dumb they sound.

8. “Don’t pee Continue reading

10 Unfortunate Children

10 children, no brain

What happens when you insult Judge Judy? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that.

Meet Danny Gonzales

10 children, no brain

10 children, no brain

Danny boy over here claims to have 10 children. He’s 21. Seems about right.

How many different woman has he had these 10 kids with? Let’s listen to his clear and concise response  Continue reading